Friday morning six am, I sit at my kitchen table, I’ve been awarded my life back. Well almost all of it. The parts that are missing, while just out of reach, do seem obtainable,but timing is of the essence, with everything in my life, I see clearly what I want and how to get it, except for one thing, and to some the most important thing, so me it definitely is, the love of my life. After disappearing from her for 3 months without any contact, as I dealt with my addictions and she dealt with my actions during our time, I didn’t see or contact her. The night before I arrived home, two emails were exchanged, and since then we have been talking back and front, she is still hurt and upset over how our relationship ended, and how difficult I become, towards the end. But she understands the hardships I have endured and challenges that have been in my life.
All I have wanted since the day i left her was the chance to make things right. To undo the hurt I caused her. It was a part of me that was once in control but now is dead. I hope one day we can reignite our love and begin an even better life together than before. I see it infront of me, like carefully assorted lego bricks, the finished product is far from complete and the foundation are only being laid, Im patient in this process. As I still have a lot of work to do on myself. I just hope I’m doing the right thing for her, by purusing her. As much as we love each other and still have feeling for each, the wake of hurt and pain I left in the path of my self destruction , is far reaching. Is it too much history to start over, My hopes are that our paths cross paths again some day, and until that time, I’ll just keep moving forward snd have faith that things will work out